Wednesday, 2 September 2009

Poop! (A fair warning if you're not up to reading this)

I hate to talk about it, but it's so important and people in the US and other developed countries are too uptight about it anyway. Thus, I will inform you all of my adventure of 24 hour (possibly more, I'm still sort of working it out) of really uncomfortable bathroom issues.

It all started on an unfortunate day, a day like many other days, mind you. I had breakfast and already something was astray. Morning passed (no pun intended) without much events. Lunch was slightly more precarious, slight tinges of wobbliness deep in my belly. Then dinner. Feeling the need to indulge my host mom and be polite, I chowed down on french fries, fried plantains, a spicy cabbage salad, and avocado. Such a bad idea. That night I tossed and turned until I could take it no longer. I thought maybe I could wait until morning to use a proper, flushing, American toilet. When I looked at the clock it read 9:26. Nope.

I mustered up the courage, and my toilet paper, and ventured outside to the cement pit of doom. Cockroaches like to reside there after dark. However, I was told if I shined a light on them they would scatter. Normally, this situation would totally not be ok with me, but when you gotta go, you have to go. Scatter they did and burst forth the evil demons in my stomach. This happened, not once, or just twice, but for the rest of the evening. Awful.

The next day I took a stopper-upper. That helped with the ghastly flow, but sometimes that's not always the best thing. I only ate some bread and peanut butter at lunch, and when I got home I had to explain to my host mom that I couldn't eat my favorite meal so far (mashed potatoes, chicken and spicy BBQ sauce) because I felt sick. The sickly feeling came back. Unfortunately, when it did come back it was down pouring rain; full blown, angry thunderstorm. I had to sit it out. Finally, not wanting to have any accidents, I put on my poncho, grabbed kleenex (I had run out of TP), flashlight and succumbed to nature yet again, and the cockroaches.

Back in my room, I lay on my bed and listened to the noises my stomach was making. I have never heard so much distress and angst in a belly in all my years. It was really quite horrendous. I hope that it didn't frighten my younger host brothers, perhaps thinking at night I turn into a beast, growling, frothing at the mouth, waiting to eat them when they are unawares (I maybe would have thought that as a little kid).

Yeah, so that's about it. As I said before, I'm still sort of working it out. I just hope it's not worms or something. I'm not sure how many days you're supposed to wait before you do something about it. Eh, oh well. Ta for now. (Hope I didn't offend anybody's sensitivities...)

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